caseyanthonyofficial:

One time I got pulled over by a cop and I was so nervous that I thought I was supposed to call him “your honor” like we were in court or something but then I corrected last minute and I just said “Good evening your officer”

(via laughcentre)

lirrylirry:

85 YEAR OLD BEST FRIENDS OH MY GOD PLEASE JUST WATCH THIS

(via heyfunniest)

sarah-urie:

foodtrucker:

I was born at an incredibly young age

i told this to my english teacher and she almost kicked me out of the class

(via damn-funny)

hallmoniter:

i need to get a job this summer who wants to hire me to walk around your house dressed in a little maids outfit i wont clean but ill bend over alot and stuff

(via greatwhiteprivilege)

dayandnightitsjustlife:

the bottom of you hair was once at the top of your head

(via thefunniestpost)

tunaofthesea:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i always feel really uncomfortable when two heavily tattooed people have a baby and the baby comes out blank idk i just expect some tattoos

blank

(via jakemalik)

googlechrome:

internetexplorers:

do you ever look at someone’s url and you just want to help them

all the time

(via lol-rofl-lmfao)

(Source: thatscienceguy, via lol-rofl-lmfao)

(Source: deelekgolo, via jesuschristvevo)

velvet-snowflakes:

delacoeu-r:

following back everyong ♥

everyong

(via augustuswaters)

internetexplorers:

rookieanimeartist:

internetexplorers:

[rich white dad voice] golf

what… the fuck

[RICH WHITE DAD VOICE] GOLF

(via sluttyoliveoil)

tonystarksnipples:

colonelmustangsnipples:

goldenclitoris:

poopflow:

roughrimjob:

meladoodle:

she got a pussy like the grand canyon

dry and sandy

possibly filled with dead bodies 

Includes approximately 70 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 25 types of reptiles and five species of amphibians

a popular tourist site

Everyone goes there and comes away feeling vaguely unsatisfied with the entire experience

(via orgasmic-humor)

c-apsicle:

gargoylesarecool:

ectoghostologist:

i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid 

They talk shit about other students if they like you enough too.

Two of my English teachers told me they place bets on who will win when they find out there’s going to be a fight between the students

(Source: johncest, via damn-funny)

hamentashen:

esexist:

llamabutts:

oops

this got more notes then my selfies i hate alll of you

mary gets laughed at by over 5000 people 

(Source: rehabbed, via paging-doctorfaggot)